Metaphor Trouble
by Fiera Sabre
Summary: **Spoilers for ME2 if you haven't played it** Shepard and Garrus must use those awkward metaphors for a whole conversation, and the reason for this thinks something is going on...Takes place after that horribly awkward conversation with Mordin.


**SPOILERS FOR ME2!!!**

Shepard walked on automatic as she tried desperately to stifle both a grimace and a chuckle at Mordin's advice. Actually, it was a really nice gesture, but her stomach was still doing flip-flops whenever she let her mind wander to what really lay beneath Garrus' armor. She found herself in the elevator, on her way to the crew quarters level, where the main battery was located. Also, conveniently, where Garrus spent much of his time. Mordin's comment about "chafing" came to mind, and realizing she was in an elevator by herself, she let a strangled combination of laughter and a snort out. When the elevator opened she headed straight to where she knew Garrus would be. She wanted to let him know about the information Mordin had sent.

She walked in without knocking—like always—and with some newfound confidence in their relationship Shepard sidled up to him, laying a hand on his forearm to get his attention.

"Hey, Garrus..." She spoke warmly.

"Hey," he responded, his voice sending a shiver down her back, like always. "Did you need something? ...Want something?"

Shepard was about to speak when a small movement caught her eye—damn, there was a crew member in the next room. She'd have to watch what she said. She stepped back from Garrus and cleared her throat.

"Ahem. I um, just, uhh...I wanted to...remind you...about that...that meeting. That we were going to have in a couple days." She widened her eyes and bobbed her head slightly in the direction of the technician, hoping he would get her hint.

"Meeting? What...Ooooh, right, of course, the meeting. Um. Well..." He trailed off, clearly having gotten her hint, but not sure where she was going with this.

"You remember, you said you had made some...upgrades to the...er, main cannon. And you also said that you wanted to do some in-depth research on...a, uh, different...heat sink, and operational techniques, and um, system compatibility issues." She raised her eyebrows, hoping he got it now. Thankfully, it seemed he did.

"Oh, absolutely. I'm afraid I haven't been able to find much on...the er, systems compatibility issues, or any diagrams outlining...new firing and targeting procedures."

"Right. And, that's why I'm here. See, I was talking to Mordin, and it turns out that he...found...some things that might interest you. Like...diagrams for targeting, and some vids on system compatibility. I just thought I'd pass on the word, so you have a chance to look at them before our...meeting. And you know, I think it would be...interesting...to work on our own...firing and targeting procedures."

"Of course, Shepard. Thank you. This should definitely help. And it's interesting that you suggest working on the firing and targeting procedures at the meeting."

Now she was sure Garrus was laughing at her inside, waiting for her to take the bait. She took it.

"Why is that so interesting?"

"Because, exploring new protocols for firing and targeting procedures is my latest hobby." This was said with a definite, though slightly joking, leer towards her person. And his voice definitely dropped at the end, and she was desperately trying to keep her brain functioning on more than one level.

"Well, we should definitely work on it then. At the meeting. A lot. I...should go now. I'd like to look over that information Mordin sent." There, that wasn't too bad. But she felt like she might spontaneously combust if this conversation continued much longer.

"I look forward to our meeting, Shepard," Garrus replied calmly. Shepard shot him a smile and a quick "Bye!" and was out the door as he turned back to reconfiguring one of the _Normandy's_ guns, chuckling at the total absurdness of the conversation...and feeling a bit more optimistic about their 'meeting.'

-----

"..And I swear that's just how it happened! Tell me there _wasn't_ something fishy about that conversation! Upgrades to the main cannon? Pssh, sounds like a metaphor for somewhere I never thought the commander would go."

"Aw, Perkins, come on. I mean, there have been rumors, but that? That sounds like a real tall tale, you know?"

"But it's true!! Awkward pauses and all! There was definitely some code-talk going on there."

"Nope. I'm just thinking you've had a bit too much to drink, and you inner gossip came out to play. Now, if you wanna talk about the latest celebrity affairs, I'm all ears..."

Authors Note: Yeah, I know, it's probably crappy. But the idea got stuck in my head after Garrus' whole "popping the heat sink" metaphor. So I wrote this. Also, I haven't played ME2 at all, but youtube is a veritable gold mine. And I love that they make Garrus romanceable!!! BioWare is forever awesome in my book for that. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it (I did)!


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